Thursday, 10 January 2013

#OBEM - Mums in the Labour Room

Last night I was watching One Born Every Minute on Channel 4. I really shouldn't watch it as it makes me broody and I have enough with 4 already, but I do enjoy watching it. 

Last night it was the story of two girls who were in labour with their mums and their partners as their birth partners.

Did any of you have your mum as a birth partner?

If I'm completely honest, it never occurred to me to even ask my mum if she wanted to be present! Something I regret now as I know she would have loved to have been there!

When I was due with my eldest, I was admitted into hospital the day after my due date to be induced as they were worried about how big the baby was. Hubby (who was fiancĂ©e at the time) and my mum both came with me to the hospital when I was admitted. I never realised at the time, but when my mum and hubby left, my mum cried for a while in the car as she was so sad about leaving me.

Despite not driving and living over 60 miles away from hospital, hubby made the journey to the hospital to visit me every day. The first two days passed and nothing happened. I began to think I would be pregnant forever!

The 3rd day I was told was my day of rest and that they would carry on with the inducing the following day. By the time hubby arrived with his father and sister-in-law I was complaining of backache and my SIL went in search of the midwife and as she examined me my waters broke and I was taken to the labour ward. SIL and FIL went downstairs to the cafe and my SIL phoned my parents to tell them that at long last I had gone into labour and their grandchild was on its way (we didn't know what I was expecting at the time).

Most of the afternoon passed in a blur, I was given gas and air for the pain but I didn't like it (the gas and air made me feel slightly drunk, a condition I don't like as I don't like not feeling in control of myself) so then I was given a pethidine injection which was the worst think I could have had, it made me projectile vomit all throughout the labour. Finally I was given an epidural and by the time my parents arrived, with my 6yr old nephew, the epidural had taken effect and apart from feeling cold and still throwing up I was ok. 

My nephew was fascinated that he could hear the baby's heartbeat and mum was pleased that I seemed ok. After a little while they had to leave and they were giving my FIL a lift home (my SIL had taken unwell and had had to be admitted herself). What I didn't realise at the time was that my mum didn't want to leave me and had she said something I would have gladly let her stay, I honestly didn't think she wanted to stay and she didn't think I would want her there!

Finally at 5am he was born weighing 8lb 13oz so not as big as they feared (he left that privilege to his sister who was born 2yrs later and no one realised how big she would be, despite me telling them the baby felt big. She weighed a massive 10lb 14oz, a full 2lb heavier!)

With my next labours, my mum was stuck babysitting and I regret now that I never offered her the chance to be present!

But then, I was also watching OBEM last night and thinking about how hard it must be for the mothers watching their daughters in labour. Yes we know it has an end result and that we have to go through it, but no mother likes seeing their daughter in pain. Although my girls are only 7,6 and 3 at the moment, I hate seeing them in pain and would do anything I could to take that pain away!

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