Monday, 28 January 2013

Thankful For My Son

Today I am thankful for my son!

A couple of weeks ago we travelled to Chester together to compete in the Moneysupermarket Superkids challenge and we had an enjoyable day together, just the two of us, and he made new friends and so did I and it was lovely to spend some 1:1 time with him, something which I rarely get the chance to do with 3 other children demanding my attention.

Sadly he didn't win the challenge, but to me he is, and will always be, my winner. He tried his best and he showed me that he has been listening to my lessons about saving money and looking for bargains, he even had the wisdom to think about food going out of date before you had chance to eat!

We've started a game now when we go shopping and he's really enjoying it. I ask him to look at the prices of food and how much they cost and which one is the better deal. He's finding this challenge really interesting and he's doing really well at spotting good deals from those that are not so good. Something I didn't learn myself until recently!

He loves being a big brother and is very protective of his younger sisters. I overheard my 6yr old saying to him the other day "Can you have a word with a boy in my class because he keeps running away with my hat" and he gave her a hug and said "Course I will!"

I remember his teacher when he was in year 1 telling me he was a "Loveable Rogue". We were having a bit of trouble with him hitting when he loses his temper, something that he still does to a small amount but usually aimed at himself nowadays and I must admit that that description really suits him!

My son is quite sensitive and caring and he loves nothing more than snuggling up to you and giving you lots of hugs and kisses and telling you he loves you. He is very insecure though so you have to explain to him why you cannot give him a hug at that moment in time, otherwise he will run off upset. On New Years Eve I was singing I Will Survive by Gloria Gayner and he ran off upset as he thought I was telling him to "Go, go on now go. Just turn around now, cos you're not welcome anymore!" It took a while to calm him down and to reassure him that I wasn't singing it to him and that I would never send him away like that because I love him too much. 

He takes everything seriously and deeply and is always asking lots of questions. We've had to stop him playing Minecraft because as well as playing it, he was watching video's on You Tube of other people playing it who are a lot older than he is and it was giving him nightmares.

He's going through a strange stage at the moment, he turns 10 in March but all of a sudden he needs a lot of reassurance and he is wanting lots of hugs and kisses. I've always made sure that I tell my children several times a day how much I love them and how proud of them I am, but for some reason he's just needing extra reassurance and he's feeling down at the moment. 

He has had some bullying at school from a certain boy and he has been reluctant to go to school, but he also has a habit of blaming this boy for everything and not taking responsibility for his own actions. The biggest problem we have is that the two of them clash and no matter how many times I tell him to ignore the other boy, he seems to be unable to do that and of course that is how the problems begin. He will also blame other people for his problems, even when something is blatantly his fault. 

One of my biggest worries with my son is when he is upset, whether because he's been told off or he can't do something or he's been asked to do something, he will then get upset and say things like; "I wish I was dead, no body loves me, I hate myself, I hate my life, I wish I'd never been born, I want to kill myself, Why does everybody hate me, Somebody kill me now, I'm thick, I'm stupid, I'm gay, I don't deserve to live, Why is everyone mean to me, I don't deserve to live" etc. Something that is really upsetting to hear your 9yr old crying. I've even found him threatening to kill himself with a knife!

I know most of his behaviour is a cry for attention, something which sadly he doesn't get that much of. By the time his dad is home from work it's time for tea, bath and bed and the rest of the day I have him and his 3 sisters. At the weekend I work on Saturdays which only leaves Sundays to spend time together as a family. 

One thing that our day out to Chester did show me, was that he needs some more 1:1 attention and now that the days are getting longer, I'm going to work harder to give him and his sisters some more individual attention!!!


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